Intimacy

Then God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone”. This is just a bible quote that I would like to start my essay with because it all started in creation. We have different perspectives of intimacy but for me I would take all that I know about it and then see the pros and cons and include my views and experiences. It is too funny because I don’t have an intimate partner as of yet but I have the little experience I can share that will give some aspects of intimacy. Intimacy is said to be a very close relationship that requires dialogue, vulnerability, transparency and reciprocity. It turns to differ from other relationships in the sense that it requires a well developed emotional and interpersonal awareness. In a nut shell, intimate relationship is a sexual relationship between people who are falling in love. So it differs from a friendship and any other relation between people, it differs in some different ways.

An intimate relationship is said to be between a male and a female but there are some people who have decided to go against the law of nature. They decided to have an intimate relationship with the same gender and I am against that. I know that people do what they want but I feel it’s not good for people of the same gender to have an intimate relationship, how does a man say sweetie to another man, it’s just terrible. Friendships are good in both genders weather mixed or same gender but intimacy naturally needs two people of different gender and it was created that the man would be superior to the woman and that happens without a problem. It really does not work for me to see people of the same gender having an intimate relationship. Anyways I’m still talking about intimate relationship; it is really nice for people of the same gender to have an intimate relationship.

Intimate relationship is where people can sit together and talk about love, they kiss and romance and maybe to an extent of having sex. Intimate relationship is different in that sense. It is all in the name of love. Friends do love each other but there is no intimacy and it is shallow as compared to intimate relationship. Friends talk too much but they just tell funny stories whereas in intimate relationships they talk about more personal issues and about love, they usually talk softly as well without shouting. An intimate relationship is more romantic and personal as compared to other relationships.  Friends can have outdoor fun like hanging around, partying and drinking but for intimate relationships that fun is there but there is more of indoor fun, like sharing the shower, sharing the bed, sharing the body and so forth. I mean the fun in intimate relationships is more enjoyable when people are closer to each other.

Furthermore, people in intimate relationships can be as young as teen age. The young people do it for fun. At times they know that they are not going last but they keep the relationship going by telling empty promises like we are going to be married soon. Young people also do everything that people in intimate relationships do, despite that it is preached that there should be no sex before marriage. They feel like they are losing the deepest fun in intimate relationships, so they have sex anytime in their relationship. Young people are even more romantic and they tend to have some energy since they are still young. Above all, young people do have sex and they feel they must do it as long as they are in an intimate relationship.

However, it is rare that intimate relationships last especially in us young people. We tend to like more than we have as a result we lose what we have through what we want. I personally agree with young people who have more than one lover. The love might be mutual and I believe the cheating may also be mutual. Maybe my problem is that I don’t believe in trust, seriously and realistically variety is the spice of life. No one likes to wear the same pair of socks for five months; no one likes to it the same dish for ten months, so you really need to have a taste of banana today, a cucumber tomorrow and maybe a carrot the other day. It is practical with us young people and we are doing it simply because we are discontent and we always want to get what we think is the best even if it’s actually not. So there is a lot of cheating but it’s very unfortunate for others because they think that they are loved the way they love while they are an option. That is why I will encourage men to have variety of girls, not too much but somewhere to lean on when things are bad.

It is better to have two lovers if you feel you have to, because there is no smoke without fire, the fat that you think you can have another it’s because you can see that you are not safe, you might be deleted. So it is always better to have a fire extinguisher incase of fire and a spare wheel incase of puncture. I am not spreading the wrong gospel but I’m avoiding the people who kill themselves because they have been disappointed by their loved ones. If they had somewhere to lean on they would have just go on, but they seem to be blind. Yes, I am from a polygamous society and family and I believe that a real man should have more than one wife. It’s just that you can’t just have more than one wife when you cannot manage to take care of them. That is why in my culture you are said to be a real man because you have cows to marry more than one wife, so you can have your choice as long as you would afford to take care of your family. 

I personally do don’t believe that there is intimacy in young people. Your partner is yours when she/he is with you. I mean that some people can be serious committed to their lovers only to find that they are being made an option and not love the way they love. Young people are only attracted by external beauty only and they desire to have sex, that is lust and there is apparently no intimacy. It is rare to find people with one partner even if they say that they only have one partner, then where is the intimacy there? Intimacy might be in married people but then, not all that is gold glitters. I mean not all that are married have intimacy. For instance, I was once I an intimate relationship with my high school teacher and she was married. She told me that she had she was not married, so you can see that intimacy is just a word. Then people tend to tell all their secrets to the people they think love them, that is very risky at the same time it works for others.

I had a girlfriend that I trusted so much and told her all my secrets because I thought she loved me like I did. She decided to sleep with my best friend on my bed while I was away. By then I only had her as my girl and I never thought I will ever disappoint her, but she taught me a lesson. So I don’t expect to be blamed when I have more than one girl because I do it for safety. People assume that they are loved but they are only loved when their partners are in front of them. Then, do you have to forgive your partner who has cheated on you? The answer is why, when there are so many fishes in the sea. However, I wish people could be able to read and see if they are really loved because there are so many people who pretend they love you but they are after something maybe money or sex. Intimacy has changed these days, people believe they are in an intimate relationship because they want to gain something and they tend to forget that in an intimate relationship, the only thing that you get is love, the rest may follow.

In conclusion, I believe that intimate relationship is made to exit by both people. If one is messing around, then there is no intimacy in the sense that you may never know who comes first. However, there can be intimacy even if you have multiple lovers, only if you give them the necessary love they deserve as you beloved ones. Intimacy is a very serious relationship simply because it includes deeper feelings than any other relationship. It is really hard to maintain as long as there are some people of the different gender who are more attractive to you. They say we are able to control ourselves and I say ourselves is able to control us. But then it’ all in the name of love and intimacy keeps going where there is true love, I end.