Why do People Want to immigrate to the United States?

Many people from different countries in the world have a common dream they wish to fulfill before they die, visiting the United States. Most of them are from the third world countries. What is so special about the United States? Why do many people want to come to the States before they die? Why don’t they choose maybe Japan, maybe Zimbabwe? It looks like there is something in the United States that no other country has. Before we burn our minds wondering what is so special about the United States, let’s look closely to the man reasons people really want to immigrate to the United States

There are major reasons for people to want to immigrate to the United States. People want to immigrate to the United States for better education/employment, for better life/ freedom and sometimes to be with their families.

People want to immigrate to the United States for education and employment which opens opportunities. The U.S is known as the land of opportunities. As much as the States have lower scores on Math and Science, it offers a good education system for everyone. High school drop-outs, old people, disabled people all have an opportunity to get into college or university at any time in their lives. People come to America to finish their education because they’ll have opportunities after they finish school. Many people want to grab knowledge and go back to better their countries. People with education from the States have lots of chances of getting better jobs in their countries. Other people want to work in the States so they get better pay than they were getting in their countries. The dollar is much higher than most countries’ currency. Many immigrants compose an increasingly essential proportion of the workforce in the States.

Most people want to immigrate to the States for better life and freedom and better life. The States is known for freedom. Unlike many countries, people can do whatever they want to do as long as it is within the law. Most people come from very poor and undeveloped countries so they come here to better their lives. They want to escape poverty and oppressive political regimes from their countries. Immigrants want to live in freedom; they want to practice their religions freely. As much as there is all the freedom and good life, many people just want to come to the States because they think life in America is the same as Hollywood shows us. That is not always the case; you need to work hard to have a glamorous life.

Some of the immigrants come to the States because they have their families residing in the United States and desire to reunification.  Through family-sponsored immigration like myself, a U.S citizen can sponsor his or her foreign-born spouse, parent, minor and adult married and unmarried children, and brothers and sisters. Lots of people come here through marriages, so they then are able to sponsor their family members to live with them in the States and experience the good life. Some people come here for work and leave their spouses back in their home countries. After sometime they try to bring their spouses with them. So each time a member of the family comes to the U.S there is a big possibility for other family members to come because they would want to be with their families.

Many people from a lot of countries want to come to the land of opportunities. There are very little negative speculations about the negatives of the United States. That is why people think when they move here they will live the Hollywood lifestyle. People need to be aware about the language barrier; they need to know that the States may adopt laws that restrict the rights for immigrants. People need to know the pros and cons of coming to the U.S so they are able to make clear decisions.

Interaction with people

I really cannot tell why it is hard for me to greet a person, especially my peers. Anyways I’ve been assigned to justify myself on that weakness, so it will come out. It is a fact that you should not greet anybody when the heart is filled with anger and distrust. Have, instead, a pure hollow from which a whole hearted Hello emanates. Most of my peers show by the facial expression to show if they do not want to talk to you. A person can come from far smiling and when he meets a person, starts to frown a bit. How then can you greet such person? I for one tend to be angry and could not manage to be the first to say hello. I just want a person to say hello to me before I do, I always show a smiling face to show that hellos are welcome. I then feel if a person does not say hello to me was not willing to a have a word with me, so I also shut my mouth. I personally think people may just develop anger towards me at the same time that can happen to me sometimes. It does not work if I greet someone when I just get irritated when I look at him.

What I have said does not mean I do not greet people because I develop a feeling of anger, but sometimes there is fear. I am sometimes willing to greet a person but a feeling of fear just comes to me and I only look that person. Again when I look a person it sometimes mean I am expecting him to greet me because I have a reason for not greeting him, which is obviously the fear or anger. The fear may come because maybe the person is just unapproachable by his appearance. I know that some people seem not to be approachable while they are, deep inside their hearts. It is just relentless to judge a person by the appearance because the eyes see something unique from the person and the mind thinks he is not approachable then you my conclusion would that he is just that. The anger comes because maybe the person just irritates me with his attitude or there could be an animosity that just flourishes and it might be mutual as well. Most of the times you people have the same feeling about each other, so it is hard to tell how a person feels about you. I then draw my own conclusion, either positive or negative.

I personally like women than men. If you have been observing you can see that in all the fear and anger I have mentioned, I used masculine pronouns like him, his and he. That simply shows that I can never have a feeling of anger towards a girl and I cannot fear women. I make sure that each time I meet a woman on the streets or anywhere I greet her with a smile. Even if I need to ask anything like directions, between men and women I ask the women. I feel women are more sociable than men. However, people can never be the same. I mean some girls have attitude towards men, like me some women prefer women than men. So if I greet a women and she does not answer, I just tell myself she is not interested in talking to me. This means I take chances in women, even if I see that they are unapproachable. It is in me and I cannot help it. Even then, when I see that a woman has a bad attitude towards me I simply avoid her and not greet her anymore. So even if I greet women more often, I have limitations as well.

To me greeting means a lot, maybe it’s the way I was raised. In my country it is an obligation to greet elder people, so it gets automatic to greet everybody. Every child in my country knows that when they meet elders along the way, they greet them. So it has become more like a norm and value. What I’m trying to say is that I believe in communication, so it hurts me to greet somebody who intentionally does not respond. That has made me to see a person the eye and tell if he/she is willing to communicate with me. I just judge by looking and I decided it myself. It works so far because the people I see not to be willing fail to greet me first. In fact people who are like me, who want to be greeted first before they say a thing can never see me greeting them. I think I made the wrong choice but I feel it works for me because people do not know my personal principles. It really hurts to try to be nice to people who do not care about what you are saying, people whom you are irritating when talking to them.

I once greeted a guy who is a bit older than me. He shouted and said “what are you saying?”. It was really painful and I modestly said “I was greeting you”. He just clicked at me. I swore from there that I would never greet men. I was very angry and offended, but even though I still greet other men that have a smiling face. I like greeting older people so much; it is in me, it is my culture and my value. They always give good responses; they ask how you are from their hearts not like my peers do. They never say cool and then keep quiet, they ask hoe school is treating you, they also ask if you are feeling well and about your welfare. I take it as a blessing to communicate with elder people because they always talk reasonable things. Unlike my peers who just say “cool man how are doing”. I don’t put even a question mark because I want to state it practically that they do not expect an answer. Weather you answer or not, they don’t care they just continue to ask about youthful stuff, like partying, booze and relationships. I am willing to communicate with people who are willing to communicate with me I don’t want to bother people who are not willing because they might yell me. Its better they start greeting me so that I can see that I had a wrong judgment, maybe they are frowning by nature.

Trust

I feel trusting a person is much valuable to me. If I tell you that I trust you then you must know that I value you and it comes inside me. So I mean it’s hard for me to tell somebody that I trust you. I fear that I might be deceived if I trust too much. In actual fact I now believe that instead of trust is risk, in the sense that I may never be very sure that the person I trust is trustworthy or what. So I refer it as taking a risk. Obviously, before I started not to believe in trust I had people that I trusted, like my best friend, my parents and my girlfriend. All these people that I’m counting are actually the ones that made me not to trust anyone at all. So even if there is a case whereby I have to choose one person from many people whom I can share my privacy with its not really that I trust that person but I’m taking a risk that might be likely to benefit me. I mean that even if I can tell you my private stuff it does not mean that I trust you, but it means that I’m taking a risk out of no option, it means that I have no other option but to share with you for my benefit. Trust is such a big word to me and I just don’t trust anyone in this planet earth.

I know people might wonder how on earth you can’t trust your parents, I say I don’t but that does not mean I don’t love them. I love my parents with all my heart but I really not trust them. It’s unfortunate because my father died and I will only tell you about my mother. The day my father died I was at the hostel in school. I mind you I did not know that he was even sick; I did not see him when he was sick, but it was for more than two weeks. Where on earth can your mother not tell you that your father is sick? I mean, my mother will fetch me at school when we were supposed to go for a party at home. Then I was writing a test on a Saturday, the teacher told me to leave the test and come out, I said what?? You want me to fail the test. The teachers just embraced me, I really wondered why because I was not sick. They just said I should go home, not telling me that something wrong had happened. I reached home still no one could tell me that my father is dead until I had it from my friends. I just told myself at that time that my mother does not care for me. I rephrased my thought and said she is just not trustworthy, how can my father fall sick for more than two weeks and she does not tell me that and the next thing he dies ad still she cannot tell me. To be frank, I just did not trust her from there, but I really love her though.

Other people that made me not to see the reason of trusting anyone is my friend and my girl friend. Those people were like my secret agents, every step I was taking in life, I told them and they knew every secret of me. They broke my heart simultaneously. One weekend I had to go out of my country for some other reasons for the whole weekend. I told my best friend that I was going out of the country for the whole weekend and asked him to stay in my house while I’m away. It was not my first time to ask him to take care of my house because I trusted him as my best friend. Then he stayed in my house then. So I went away. Fortunately I came home a day before the actual day. My friend was not aware that I would come back the day before, he thought I was going to come on a Monday but I came back on a Sunday. I knocked and he could not open, mind you it was raining. I went to the window and checked inside and found that he was not alone. Then I decided to go and sleep somewhere else. Just before I went away he called me. He said he is sorry. I said never mind you can be with your girlfriend ill sleep somewhere else. When I got in to greet his girlfriend, I was very disillusioned only to find that it was my girl friend.

I would time and again ask myself as to whom I should trust. All the people I trusted turned their back against me. Then what is the reason for me to trust any other person who is not even closer to me. The people closer to me have made me not to trust anyone at all. So from all the incidences that I have mentioned I concluded that I will never on earth trust anyone. I know some people will give me situations like, how can I handle it when I need to choose one person from many whom maybe I can give a secret code or something personally. I will simply tell people that in such situation I can choose one person, but still that does not mean I trust that person. It is just taking a risk; otherwise it is not good to say to a person, “I trusted you”. That is regret, then why should you do something that will regret at the end. So for me it does not work to for me to trust anybody at all. Once a person disappoints me I no longer say I trusted you, I just talk by myself and say “risks are just like that, it’s either positive or negative for me it does not come as a shock to be disappointed by a person who think I trusted him/her.

I’m definitely sure there are some people who think I trust them. They are right to have a positive thought, but actually I just don’t and that does not mean I don’t love them. I can never tell someone who think I trust him/her that I don’t trust them. It is good for people to have their positive thoughts in life. So I do not want to disappoint people, I like to see people happy and positive in life. It is like everyday life, like some people think they are taken superior by others when in the actual fact they are not, it’s just their thoughts I being superior. All the same people think I trust them because they think they think they are trustworthy. Even myself I believe that there are some people who trust me with all their hearts. At the same time I might be thinking something that is actually not happening, it is just something in my mind. I feel that I would be breaking people’s hearts if I tell them that I don’t trust them. People would start asking what they have done that makes me not to trust them. So that is a big question, it is better for me to keep it in me and not disappoint people.

So in conclusion, trust is a word that does not actually exist as far as I’m concerned. I mean everything that I might do that might seem to be trust is not, it is just a risk. I think trusting somebody is just taking a chance and so it’s not pure trust for me. I deliberately have no trust in anybody because I don’t want to be disappointed some day and regret it. I have seen some people hanging themselves because they have been disappointed by their loved ones, then I ask myself why did he/she trust her at the first place. Trust is not a joke it’s risky to trust somebody.

         

Intimacy

Then God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone”. This is just a bible quote that I would like to start my essay with because it all started in creation. We have different perspectives of intimacy but for me I would take all that I know about it and then see the pros and cons and include my views and experiences. It is too funny because I don’t have an intimate partner as of yet but I have the little experience I can share that will give some aspects of intimacy. Intimacy is said to be a very close relationship that requires dialogue, vulnerability, transparency and reciprocity. It turns to differ from other relationships in the sense that it requires a well developed emotional and interpersonal awareness. In a nut shell, intimate relationship is a sexual relationship between people who are falling in love. So it differs from a friendship and any other relation between people, it differs in some different ways.

An intimate relationship is said to be between a male and a female but there are some people who have decided to go against the law of nature. They decided to have an intimate relationship with the same gender and I am against that. I know that people do what they want but I feel it’s not good for people of the same gender to have an intimate relationship, how does a man say sweetie to another man, it’s just terrible. Friendships are good in both genders weather mixed or same gender but intimacy naturally needs two people of different gender and it was created that the man would be superior to the woman and that happens without a problem. It really does not work for me to see people of the same gender having an intimate relationship. Anyways I’m still talking about intimate relationship; it is really nice for people of the same gender to have an intimate relationship.

Intimate relationship is where people can sit together and talk about love, they kiss and romance and maybe to an extent of having sex. Intimate relationship is different in that sense. It is all in the name of love. Friends do love each other but there is no intimacy and it is shallow as compared to intimate relationship. Friends talk too much but they just tell funny stories whereas in intimate relationships they talk about more personal issues and about love, they usually talk softly as well without shouting. An intimate relationship is more romantic and personal as compared to other relationships.  Friends can have outdoor fun like hanging around, partying and drinking but for intimate relationships that fun is there but there is more of indoor fun, like sharing the shower, sharing the bed, sharing the body and so forth. I mean the fun in intimate relationships is more enjoyable when people are closer to each other.

Furthermore, people in intimate relationships can be as young as teen age. The young people do it for fun. At times they know that they are not going last but they keep the relationship going by telling empty promises like we are going to be married soon. Young people also do everything that people in intimate relationships do, despite that it is preached that there should be no sex before marriage. They feel like they are losing the deepest fun in intimate relationships, so they have sex anytime in their relationship. Young people are even more romantic and they tend to have some energy since they are still young. Above all, young people do have sex and they feel they must do it as long as they are in an intimate relationship.

However, it is rare that intimate relationships last especially in us young people. We tend to like more than we have as a result we lose what we have through what we want. I personally agree with young people who have more than one lover. The love might be mutual and I believe the cheating may also be mutual. Maybe my problem is that I don’t believe in trust, seriously and realistically variety is the spice of life. No one likes to wear the same pair of socks for five months; no one likes to it the same dish for ten months, so you really need to have a taste of banana today, a cucumber tomorrow and maybe a carrot the other day. It is practical with us young people and we are doing it simply because we are discontent and we always want to get what we think is the best even if it’s actually not. So there is a lot of cheating but it’s very unfortunate for others because they think that they are loved the way they love while they are an option. That is why I will encourage men to have variety of girls, not too much but somewhere to lean on when things are bad.

It is better to have two lovers if you feel you have to, because there is no smoke without fire, the fat that you think you can have another it’s because you can see that you are not safe, you might be deleted. So it is always better to have a fire extinguisher incase of fire and a spare wheel incase of puncture. I am not spreading the wrong gospel but I’m avoiding the people who kill themselves because they have been disappointed by their loved ones. If they had somewhere to lean on they would have just go on, but they seem to be blind. Yes, I am from a polygamous society and family and I believe that a real man should have more than one wife. It’s just that you can’t just have more than one wife when you cannot manage to take care of them. That is why in my culture you are said to be a real man because you have cows to marry more than one wife, so you can have your choice as long as you would afford to take care of your family. 

I personally do don’t believe that there is intimacy in young people. Your partner is yours when she/he is with you. I mean that some people can be serious committed to their lovers only to find that they are being made an option and not love the way they love. Young people are only attracted by external beauty only and they desire to have sex, that is lust and there is apparently no intimacy. It is rare to find people with one partner even if they say that they only have one partner, then where is the intimacy there? Intimacy might be in married people but then, not all that is gold glitters. I mean not all that are married have intimacy. For instance, I was once I an intimate relationship with my high school teacher and she was married. She told me that she had she was not married, so you can see that intimacy is just a word. Then people tend to tell all their secrets to the people they think love them, that is very risky at the same time it works for others.

I had a girlfriend that I trusted so much and told her all my secrets because I thought she loved me like I did. She decided to sleep with my best friend on my bed while I was away. By then I only had her as my girl and I never thought I will ever disappoint her, but she taught me a lesson. So I don’t expect to be blamed when I have more than one girl because I do it for safety. People assume that they are loved but they are only loved when their partners are in front of them. Then, do you have to forgive your partner who has cheated on you? The answer is why, when there are so many fishes in the sea. However, I wish people could be able to read and see if they are really loved because there are so many people who pretend they love you but they are after something maybe money or sex. Intimacy has changed these days, people believe they are in an intimate relationship because they want to gain something and they tend to forget that in an intimate relationship, the only thing that you get is love, the rest may follow.

In conclusion, I believe that intimate relationship is made to exit by both people. If one is messing around, then there is no intimacy in the sense that you may never know who comes first. However, there can be intimacy even if you have multiple lovers, only if you give them the necessary love they deserve as you beloved ones. Intimacy is a very serious relationship simply because it includes deeper feelings than any other relationship. It is really hard to maintain as long as there are some people of the different gender who are more attractive to you. They say we are able to control ourselves and I say ourselves is able to control us. But then it’ all in the name of love and intimacy keeps going where there is true love, I end.